Bergen is a lovely small Norwegian village on the western coast of Norway. Convenient it being Norwegian. It is also a destination for huge groups of tourists seeking a one-stop Norway experience. The key to enjoying Bergen is to figure out where, when, and how to escape one to find the other.

Cruise Ship Conundrum

Oil has been the major economic driver in Norway, and Bergen is full of specialized ships and equipment. However, it appears tourism is now becoming the major influence on the economy. Locals are re-inventing themselves. Our sailboat captain started out as a fish farmer, became involved in the early computer industry, and now caters his sailing skills and dry Norwegian humor to tourists. The guide for our food tour was a former psychologist … so obviously I had to ask ‘How does that smoked salmon make you feel?’

There is a limit of 3 cruise ships in port at one time. At midday, the shops and restaurants along the Bergen waterfront can be stuffed with tourists. Most of them are either taking pictures of themselves, walking backwards into others taking pictures of themselves, taking pictures of the food in front of them, or taking pictures of them eating the food. As you may be able to tell, my tolerance for the selfie obsessed is getting lower every day. I envision the formation of an anti-selfie political party in the near future.

Norway is crazy expensive. While lodging is relatively reasonable, the prices for consumables like food and drink can be a bit ridiculous. We should have had a clue when every passenger on the flight arriving in Bergen bee-lined straight for the Duty-Free to stock up on alcohol. One local explained that it was initially difficult to sustain quality restaurants in Bergen because so many cruise ship passengers preferred their free on-board buffet instead of paying the higher costs for a meal in the city. Everyone in town seems to know what time the buses take the passengers back to the cruise ships. There is a collective sigh of relief. Just a block off the waterfront, the old wooden alleyways of Byggen are nearly empty, peaceful, and worth a stroll. Perhaps to buy a troll. Take that Fezzik.

Quintessential Norway

There are many beautiful parts of Bergen, including the neighborhood along Markeveien road, located on the opposite side of the harbor. Likewise, the Funicular provides wonderful views of the city. However, Byggen is the central attraction. Bergen delivers the definitive Norwegian post-card image with the beautiful old wooden buildings of Byggen along the waterfront, where yes … you can buy ample supplies of that very post-card. Byggen is a UNESCO world-heritage site (that’s a Turn-Right-at-50 bingo word for those that were paying attention to the blog on Riga) and a former trading port of the Hanseatic League. The museum in Byggen provides a great perspective of the history … and an escape from the wave of tourists trolling every shop for the perfect Norwegian gnome shaped cheese slicer.

Portlandia Transformation

While in Bergen, we discovered that our visit overlapped with the annual Bergen Food and Beer festival. It is the biggest of its kind in Norway. The festival was situated on the grounds of the castle and it was a spectacular day. The event was clearly for locals … no English written anywhere and not a tourist in sight. Well, except us. We learned that microbrewing in Norway is relatively new. However, based on what we saw and tasted … they have got it figured out. The beer festival put similar events in Seattle to shame, including their unique high-tech twist. Attendees used their mobile phones to provide feedback on the beers, with a real-time ranking updated on large monitors around the festival. This proved particularly valuable since the displays were also in English. While there were some outstanding beers, my favorite was an imperial milk stout with the name “Double Barrel Aged Death by Disco”. Although I do wonder if that is a literal translation for something much less interesting, like Bud.

Chocolate, Mussels, and Kissing Reindeer

The accompanying Food Festival consisted of many small producers of all things Norwegian. We filled a bag with several products for our upcoming train trip to Oslo. As you might expect, there was lefsa, salmon, breads, cheese, and everything made from reindeer. What you might not expect was some amazing chocolate. Those who know Molly understand her obsession for the very best chocolates. Her assessment … Fjak (I have no idea how to pronounce it either) produces some of the best chocolate that she has ever tasted. A very small producer located up a small fjord outside of Bergen. In Norway. Who knew?

Everyone in Bergen seems to be an expert regarding fresh seafood. The seagulls were even lined up along the shore banging fresh mussels against the rocks. When you think of great cuisines of the world, Norwegian probably does not make the Top 10. However, for one specific dish, it deserves an honorable mention. Unfortunately, this dish has a most unappetizing name … plukkfisk. It sounds like something that happens after consuming too many microbrews and then kissing a reindeer. It is not that. Plukkfisk is a savory ‘gratin like’ dish consisting of cod, potatoes, pickled leeks, onion, and topped with crispy bacon. Mmmm, bacon. The best place to get plukkfisk (Admit it. That reindeer image is in your head isn’t it) is at Bare Vastland. We did … twice.

There are a number of excellent dining options in Bergen. The best ones are located a short walk from the waterfront. Spisekroken is located in a converted house in a small neighborhood where the “3 Veal Menu” delivers a trio of appetizers, veal cooked 3 ways, and a trio of desserts. Despite being right next to the busy waterfront, Bryggeloftet & Stuene serves up some excellent fare including an excellent heaping steamy pot of mussels. Seagulls not included. And don’t forget Bare Vastland for the plukkfisk. How could you forget?

Was That a Fjord or a Ford?

Of course, when in Norway, one must ‘do a fjord’. We did, and as it turns out we sailed on several of them. In fact, it became pretty clear that just about any body of water in Norway must be a fjord. I wanted to know what the definition of a fjord is so I asked an expert, the captain of a sailboat we chartered. You would have thought I just projectile plukkfisk’ed all over his boat. Such a dumb question from a silly American. However, in the end he could only point to water and say that was a fjord. Clearly some are more spectacular and the one he pointed to seemed more like a canal between two harbors. On the other hand, Osterfjorden fjord is a perfect example of whatever a fjord is … and well worth a visit. There are a number of options for sailing the fjords, including some multi-day excursions along the Norwegian coast through the company Hurtigruten. Just channel your inner Muppet Swedish chef and you will pronounce it perfectly.

After the tourist buses and cruise ships depart in the late afternoon, Bergen reverts back to a quaint little village, small enough for us to run into people that we had met earlier in our visit. Bergen is definitely worth a visit. Just don’t try to do it as part of a big cruise ship group. It is worthy of a more relaxed stay. On our last day, we met a couple from Seattle that arrived in Bergen at 10:00am and were leaving at 4:00. They were in a rush and they wanted to know what they should do. I was tempted to tell them where to go to buy the best Norwegian gnome shaped cheese slicer. I wimped out … so I told them where to go to get plukkfisk. They seemed offended.

Truth be told, we bought cheese at the Food Festival for our train trip to Oslo so we did buy a cheese slicer. However, it was not shaped as a moose, gnome, or reindeer. The small shred of dignity I have left is knowing that it is an actual Norwegian invention.